We are doing a full length commentary of wheel of time episodes five and six

Thank the light, everybody. I am Desmond McNeese. This is my hetero life mate, parchdayoman. We are doing a full length commentary of wheel of time, episodes five and six, which are called blood. Calls blood. Is that a thing?

Maybe.

Is that an episode? Uh, seriously?

I’m the talent, bro. You’re the technical guy. That’s right. You told me I wouldn’t have to do anything.

I’m the play by play. You’re the color commentary. No, I know that. Well, you know what? It’s episode five and six, people. Uh, it doesn’t really matter what they’re called. And you know what? I keep saying that I’m excited for these episodes for a different reason. Last week, I was excited because we didn’t get to give those episodes their due time. And these episodes, I’m excited to because we gave these episodes their full due. And we get to put some icing on the cake right now. So this is going to be rad.

Ice? Yes, ice.

Um, we are going to watch the recap. We will talk a little bit about exactly what’s going on on the tv when we start it, so that you guys can get all synced up, and we’ll be off. There might be some silences here and there. We’re just going to play it all the way through the episode. I may go to the bathroom. We’re going to let it run. Fatty may go lightsaber. Uh, with his neighbor.

I sometimes pee. There are bong hits. Sometimes I lightsaber. Sometimes I drink whiskey.

Fatty will blow lots of bubbles in his. Um. Um.

Yes. That’s only just chocolate milk.

Everyone.

Don’t worry. The family friendly podcast. Even though I don’t wear pants. Just kidding.

Wearing pants. Fatty lives in one of the good states. It’s all good. Yeah.

I am perfectly legal, so do not judge me. Or judge me if you want, it’s fine.

I don’t care.

Elisa’s house is burned to the ground in tonight’s episode

All right, next episode. Yeah. Wheel of time. The flame of Tarval.

We captured a man calling himself the dragon reborn. The law applies to us just as.

Much as it does to him.

You reached out and you touched the sword. You’ll never be the same channel for me, girl.

Protect me. What are you? Men?

Women both wanted to taste of the power. If they cut off from it, it’s not life anymore. We have to keep man away from those women. If they’ve arrived, I’ll know. But will you tell me?

I don’t know if we can trust her.

Do not underestimate the women in this tower. Each of them has her own goal, her own agenda. The ambulance returning from Camelin, she summoned us to the hall to answer for Logan. She’s out for blood.

Recap is over a little bit.

God, look at that shit. That’s pretty. I was just saying Elisa. I was like, thank God he’s professional.

I got backups on backups, baby.

She’s like, is there something you’re supposed to be doing? I was like, I’m the fucking talent.

I talk. That’s it.

That’s all I know how to do.

Hell, yeah.

She’s like, I know. She goes, Desmond does the real work. I was like, yeah, he really does.

Best we got you before some other bastard does.

Uh, I guess, uh, the tattoos on their chest are, uh, like the. That’s the stone of tear in the background, dude. That’ll come into play maybe next season. Actually.

Tightening rope with his mouth. I’m going to get us all synced up here.

Struggling unnecessarily.

Yeah.

Why don’t you have him, man? The ore, uh, and you do the knots.

I was so focused on who. This was the first time that I didn’t even realize he was a one armed man at the time, because I was just like, who is she? Who is she? Who is she? I know her. Got this.

The tattoos on her chest are a map through the fingers of the dragon, which is like a delta to get to the sea of storms.

Oh, fuck. Yeah. This is weird because we don’t really see her in any real danger. Dad’s scared for her, and then they go back and their house is just like, slightly vandalized. And then she gets.

Well, it’s not slightly vandalized. It’s burnt down.

Oh, is it? Oh, I don’t remember that. I thought it was just.

Yeah.

Oh, fuck, I don’t remember that at all.

Yeah, it’s fucking burned to the ground, bro. Slightly vandalized. Uh, they wrote some shit on the wall. That’s, uh, a dragon.

Oh, my God. And that’s why we’re doing the rewatch.

I mean, they come back and their house vandalized. No, it’s fucking gone, dude. What the fuck? What is really vandalized then?

Jesus. Yeah, there’s nothing to vandalize.

There’s nothing left.

What, are they going to spray paint the ashes? I don’t see what the big deal is.

Yeah, look, man, just build a new one.

Yeah, with your one good hand start.

What the fuck else do you have to do, dude? You ain’t got a job. Your job is to catch fish. Uh, now your job is to build a new house.

She could use the light to build him a new house before she leaves. Fuck it, right?

She could just use the power.

One of these women doesn’t use the power to rewind time. This whole show is a failure.

You don’t need to rewind time. You just need to wait till the right time comes around again.

Oh.

Are they living in a little village or are they outskirts

Spoken like a true sage.

Mind blown.

Where do you belong? So was that the white. No, you said teardrop in the background. Or was that the white tower or.

Something called the stone of tear? And it’s supposed to be like, there’s a really important item, uh, there. It’s a saw angry owl. But it’s got a bunch of one power traps around it so that only the dragon reborn can draw it. But it also is one of those things that. It’s a crystal sword, so it multiplies your power like crazy, but it’s protected in that stone of tear, and that’s, like, their government seat of power type thing. We’ll end up there end of next season or sometime third season, probably next season, I’m thinking.

So are they living in a little village, or is he, like, knowing that she had powers and he’s trying to keep it a secret? Were they kind of, like, on the.

Outskirts they live, you know, obviously, like, that’s the town. The stone of tear is where the town is, so.

Okay.

They live a ways away. They live in the country.

Down by the river.

They live in the village next to the village. That’s next to the town.

So I’ve been like, fuck your village. She gone. Sony pictures.

Rose, if they already burned down your house, maybe he should just go with you. You guys should start someplace else. What’s going to happen to him?

Oh, uh, she’s gone. We buy your fish. Yeah.

Guess what? You’re not going to catch as many fish without her. All one hand.

Yeah. No, you’re not.

Uh, well, and I kind of think that’s maybe where it came from.

The more I watch the show, the more I love the show

Uh, I was going to start yammering, but I want to watch this fucking. So have you noticed? Does this intro change at all yet?

Not that I’ve seen.

Yeah. Ah.

It seems like they add a little bit more of the weaving, but I think I’m wrong.

Yeah, I think I’m just noticing more. I keep thinking it’s getting, like, more intricate, but I think, poof. Uh.

It’S a really cool opening. I love it.

I love that music.

One thing I will say, too, is that the more I watch it, the more I love the show, which is a good sign.

That’s rad, because if it’s something, like.

One thing I noticed, I’ll fight anybody. Uh, my favorite Star wars movie to date is Revenge of the Sith.

Oh, yeah.

People want to fucking talk shit like, well, what about empire? What about empire, dude? Revenge of the Sith is that you see the end of between Obi and Anakin and that’s some badass shit.

That’s the beginning of the end right there. Yes.

This is a cool shot.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. That center weaving is just like the credits. Yeah.

Dude, the man. Like, I’m sure somebody’s talking about it, but, like, they couldn’t be more on point.

That’s right. Every time I see that opening, I’m like, uh, Egwene Nynaeve. Who is that? I forget.

It’s no, um, the one.

She got a crooked eye. Yeah. Later on, you and me, we’re going to do it.

Bounce.

Two, three.

There’s three sitters from each.

Aja, so 21.

Plus the Amira, she’s the keeper of the Chronicles. Like vice, uh, president type. These chicks with the red on their dresses, the bands, they’re the accepted. They’re one step above the novice initiates.

So they’re almost fully trained. They just haven’t picked their sect yet.

Um, they have to go through one more big test.

False dragon. Show you false dragon.

I’m going to be really curious to see what they do with Leandrin because there’s, uh, another red sister who comes into power and is really important. And it seems almost like they’re trying to merge the two.

Oh, yeah.

But I just don’t see how they can.

Mhm. Okay.

Pretty sure you just got stripped of the power. And.

I don’t know if that’s weakness. I think that’s just getting further away from the just becomes more myth, the farther away you get.

This is actually important. You think this is him just kind of talking some shit.

But they spend a lot of time.

In the books talking about the distrust that people have overall for eyes to die. Um, and they look at them as almost more negative. Like the one guy, when she sinks his, um, fairy or whatever, he’s like, uh, the white cloaks are right. Your eyes to die are evil. There’s a lot of people that kind of feel that way just because it’s like people who are. I don’t want to say lack intelligence.

But lack the knowledge.

They fear what they don’t know.

But.

That’S what he’s saying. He’s like, hey, it was easy to get an army when I said I was coming for you because people don’t trust them. And I think that’s part of the dark one is kind of sowing the seeds of distrust in the world. That’s part of it, too. Men, it’s all wrapped up into one.

Um.

Stop crying, butthead. No. Spoiler alert, it’s not going to happen.

They probably don’t want to kill him either, because they don’t want him going back into the wheel anytime soon.

I think that the AES sedai are so short sighted, and they say they don’t even think that far. They would rather parade him as, like, uh, false idol, a symbol of, like, this is what happens if you want to channel. But it’s like he didn’t choose to channel. He was going to channel one way or the other. And so you’re not supposed to be able to be healed from being cut off from the power. Uh, even in the age of legends, that wasn’t supposed to be healable.

Leanne’s not having it. Why are you following on the sword for her

Spoiler alert, it might be. Dude, her hair thing on her head. I feel like that is something that, um, they have this thing called the well. I think we talked about it before. Yeah, you can put a certain amount of the one power into it. That way, if you for some reason can’t channel, there are places, like steadings. You’re cut off from the power if you go into a steading. But if you had that filled with the power, you could channel in a steady. But it’s like a, uh, wallet or something. You can only put so much in it before it’s. Well, yeah, but you let them get loose.

Done your job.

Why are you following on the sword for her? Don’t stick up for Leandrin. What are you doing? Okay, I don’t get this. What’s going on here? They were in a. Yeah, there was something going on. Unspoken, I guess. They’re just sticking, you know?

And they would have. If someone hadn’t done something, they would all be dead. So whatever the.

You know what that is right there? Siblings bonding together to not tell on each other. That’s what that was right there.

Totally.

That look was like, you get my back, I got your back next time, okay?

I got you. That was definitely like Leandran just had a teenager. Whatever, mom.

Oh, you mean I’m grounded and she’s not even going to get in trouble?

God, totally.

She’s about to throw Maureen under the bus. Bitch. I must have missed this conversation.

How was she supposed to know she was? Yeah. What’s the point? Leandrin. God.

Sisters is the appropriate word for this whole thing.

Totally. I want to inherit mommy’s money. No, I want to inherit mommy’s money. I can’t wait to see their past. You say they have a past, and I can’t wait to see it. Who? Moraine and Leandrin?

No, not really. Oh, I thought Moraine and Suan.

Uh.

Here comes the staff stamp. Leanne’s not having it.

She’s like, you can try to strike it from the record, but they all fucking heard it, so whatever. Objection. Uh, sustained or whatever.

No further questions.

Rand: I served on a jury, but I didn’t have a say

Did I tell you I served on a jury? God, what kind of a jury? Even worse, I didn’t actually serve on it. I was, uh, alternate. Uh, alternate. So I had to be there the whole fucking time, but I didn’t have a goddamn say.

That sucks. What kind of a trial was it?

It was. Someone was claiming that they got ran over in, uh, the Oakland A’s parking lot, and it was by, like, a golf cart that someone that worked there driving. And she had so many preexisting conditions, you could tell she was just trying to get them to pay for something that happened to her ten years before. And we were just like, no. Good stuff.

Good stuff. Glad I had to waste my time for this shit.

Outside this tower. It seems you do as you please, but I am the Amelin seat. This is my tower, my city, my world, from tier to the two rivers in every town between. Remember that well while you are here, remember that well. When your forehead and your lips touch this marble and you beg your mother.

For mercy.

Will think on your penance and deliver judgment tomorrow. Depart now in the light. Apologize, sir, publicly. What good would that do me? Don’t be stubborn. What? Oh, did you expect me to thank?

So weird with her little persimmon in her mouth or whatever, that like everything else you do? No, see right there, Leandrin, that’s called the high ground. I didn’t want to throw you under the bus because I’m better than that.

Oh, she is just munching on a old friend.

You should accomplish it quickly.

You’re going to make love to that, uh, persinmon, or are you going to eat it?

She’s going to. And the background, the middle is real interested in it, too. She’s like, bite it. Eat it. Eat it. Eat the pear.

Put it in your mouth.

Do it. It’s juicy. Do it. I like her. Pour.

That’s right. Matt wasn’t healed in the last one.

Her pour is so gangster. Dude, the tea. I love it.

Nice high pole.

She said, I don’t need the power to do this. What is this? The tower’s tea room? Or maybe her chambers.

This is her private deck. Uh. There it is. Yep.

I was like, how did she know? Oh, uh, because lan was bringing him.

Oh, secret. Yeah, you’re right. She just knows everything. Fuck. That’s right. This episode ends in the portal, doesn’t it? Yeah. Don’t come up.

It does, no matter what you hear. Oh, that’s Master Gil. He’s really important. And his inn is in camel in the books.

But.

He’S a good friend to ran and them.

I’m not naive.

Not who I wanted to see.

You’re alive.

Boo.

Course she’s.

No, she died. Till then, the lady shoots fireballs, so let’s try not to make her angry.

Let’s see.

Oh, so Matt actually thinks he can channel. Oh, that’s cute, Rand.

Yeah.

Even Matt makes fun of him. That’s funny. Oh, settle down, buddy.

Oh, I forget. He calls himself a dragon. Yeah. I’m going to put the light in your mouth and suck out the poison. Oh, uh, I love how it tries.

To go in her.

So Rand is the reason that Matt survived. That’s a good bet

And she’s just. Oh, Matt inhaled.

Uh, for sure. Oh, uh, he is going to sleep. Good. Put it back.

You know, it’s funny that you say that. Once you get healed, the thing that you really want to do is sleep and then eat a ton.

Oh, really?

Yeah. Because the way that the eyes sedai heal now, a lot of the strength comes from the person. That m burlap SAP should keep the evil out.

Let’s not talk about what’s going on under there. Hey, what’s under the bag?

Let’s not get into that just yet. I got a poop.

Is that a dagger?

No, definitely not.

It’s a butter knife.

She’s tired. That took a lot out of her. Her earrings are cool.

Yeah, they are. Yeah. You’re welcome.

Yeah. For what? Almost great.

Good. Great.

Excellent. Everyone on the bus.

Look at those chaps.

No, Rand is by far the best dressed dude.

He is high. Those.

Those chaps are pretty anakin. Jedi.

They are. He’s very anakin.

Yeah, he’s so.

Hmm.

M wonder why. I think moraine knows that it’s here.

Hmm.

Oh, that’s right.

So Rand is the reason that Matt survived.

That’s a good bet that he had a lot to do with it. I think.

Yeah, he was calming his horse and. Hey, what’s up?

Yeah, like, if nothing else, just of course. Oh, uh, it’s a two rivers party.

What?

Let’s have some tobacco and some brandy rend.

Loyal.

Loyal is definitely one of my favorite characters in the book. Um, he’s cool.

Boom. Suck it, Nynaeve. Not Nynaeve. Iguin. No, that’s, uh.

Nynaeve.

Nynaeve. Yeah.

Six episodes in the first glimpse of even close to any Boobs. Uh, and you know what? Respect for that. Respect.

Yeah. I’m kind of surprised. Is she actually naked or. Oh, she’s just got a loose fitting.

Yeah, she’s in the bath. But you can kind of, like, see the silhouette of the one chick, but it’s like, dude, I’m sorry. Uh, we don’t need gratuitous stuff like this. You don’t have to do that, dude, to tell a story, man. It’s lazy storytelling.

We did a movie for time pop last week that had gratuitous nudity

We did a movie for time pop last week that had the most gratuitous nudity I’ve seen in 20 years. They somehow forced it into the story so it seemed necessary, but they could have gone a different direction with it. It was great movie. Bad choice.

Yeah, for sure. You know what, and that’s the thing. It’s like Game of Thrones. I get the fact that it was more medieval time and stuff, but it’s like, dude. And even in the books. Okay. But you could have kind of skirted around a lot of that shit in the tv show, but they really didn’t. And I think that sometimes people want to do that kind of shit under the guise of, like, oh, I want to keep good of the source material. It’s like, nobody fucking needs that shit.

Game of Thrones was okay because they just went all in from the get go. If they had pulled that out in the fourth season, it would have been like, what the fuck are you doing? But they were just like.

And that’s true. And that was the only reason why I was kind of like, whatever. If anything, it got less as the show went on.

Yeah. As those actors became. I think there’s one of them. I forget who it was, but there’s someone in Game of Thrones who had some porn before she started doing Game of Thrones, and then she had it all buried. She’s like, oh, shit, I’m going legit. Never mind.

Oh, God. Really? That’s hilarious. That’s funny. Cherry edibles are the best.

What’s that?

Oh, that was a message.

Is that what that was? Yeah.

See how the branch she had in her hand was yellow? That was to come to the yellow. Aja’s area, because Nynaeve and Egwene and Perrin are there. Cool. I noticed that the chick she was talking to in, um, the thing. Yeah, my gan. I’m pretty sure she ends up in a. Ooh.

Really? That seems like a young AES sedai game. It’s weird. They go after, uh. Nope.

Uh, you can channel.

You go on a fucking woo. What did you take from them?

I stole the rings that he took when he killed people.

Right.

That’s good, because Moraine wants a fucking piece of that, dude. You bet you’re wrong about that.

If Moraine gets stilled and then gets healed, she’s oathless

Here’s another spoilery thing. I think that. So if Moraine. I’m going to try to keep this as vague as possible. If Moraine has truly been stilled, like, cut off from the power.

Uh-huh.

At one point in the books, someone, I won’t say who, discovers how to heal that. And the first time they do it, I’m not going to say whether it’s. So she kind of keeps fucking around with, um, another sister who got stilled. Not Moraine. But I’m thinking that it’s going to be moved up in the show to heal Moraine, because. And I think it’s going to be for storytelling purpose, because if you’ve been severed from the power, you’ve also been severed from the three O’s. So if all of a sudden, you can channel again. You can channel, but then you can also lie. You can fucking just kill people if you want. And the only other way to do that, uh, once you’ve taken those oaths, is to sell your soul to the dark one, and then he’ll remove those oaths from. So if Moraine gets stilled and then gets healed, she’s oathless. Then she’s fucking going to be pretty unstoppable. And it will help in some of her storytelling, because she gets dangerously close to lying. Uh, a fucking lot in the.

What is this fucking room?

This is like her chambers.

Because that portal is on the wall. But there’s nothing else in the room anymore.

Yeah.

Uh. Uh.

This is her room.

Yeah, but she was hanging out with. What’s your name on the bed? I don’t know. Sorry.

That was her room. I’m pretty sure that was room.

Oh, okay. Okay.

Yeah. So she was like, get off my bed. I’m trying to eat fucking apples. I masked the bond because I’m trying to get laid.

Boo.

Actually, I’m trying to watch this interaction to see if lan actually knows.

So.

He knows that she’s going to the world of dreams. And, okay. He knows she’s going to talk to Sue Anne. Know talk. Quote unquote finger quotes. She’s wearing her sexiest night dress, that’s for sure. Grandma Moraine, is that you?

Oh, there’s the bed. Okay, that room is just way bigger than I thought it was. M. Yeah.

So this is just a tur. Angry. Oh. You channel spirit into it. Takes you into the world of dreams. This didn’t happen in the books, but they do have something similar later in the books. I don’t know if this one ever uses it, but, uh. Whatever. I dig it.

Oh, hi.

Fancy meeting you here.

I was thinking.

Smile if I want.

Shut up. It, mommy.

It’s like any dude. Any dude that likes to be called daddy’s creepy.

Yeah. Father. Give me a father.

Uh, that would be even worse.

Never.

She say, punch me in the seat. Dude, Suanne’s thirsty.

She’s been. Moraine’s been gone for years. Well, no, but they should be able to do this from wherever, right?

No, she can’t carry that fucking portrait around everywhere.

Yeah, she can. You’ve been gone a long time. It’s going to be a long night. Do the tattoos represent. Oh.

Get up to get up to get it down. This is that house that was barely vandalized.

See? Put that thing right back together. Fine.

Look, it’s for her earring. What’s fucking dope?

What’s up with her ear?

It’s an, uh, earring.

How have I not.

Matt: That movie is ten times more bonkers than The Sopranos

I think you mentioned something about an earring before, but I didn’t realize it was like a full wraparound. Full lobe wraparound?

Yeah, it’s like a full wraparound serpent.

Does it have any power, or is it just dope as fuck?

Uh, I don’t. I mean, not to my knowledge.

That just seems like more than jewelry. That’s, uh, serious.

Yeah. And other people.

A couple of white cloaks did some rewrites.

Yeah, many headed dragon. That was the dumbest thing they did with this. I’m not dumb. It’s just like. You know what I think of that.

I’m wondering if guitar. Is that the woman who’s in the beginning of the last episode where they’re.

No. Guitar is an old blind AES sedai who has the foretelling, uh, of Rand.

Being born always blind.

They were, like, accepted or guess.

Let me guess. There was three of them.

Wait, what? Three blind mice?

Three blind witches?

No, there was just one. You dick.

I’ve seen kroll. I get it. Have you tried to watch Kroll anytime in the last two decades. No, that movie is fucking whatever you think you remember about it. It is ten times more bonkers than.

The only thing I remember about it is the spinning star blade thing.

That’s all any kid remembers about it.

It is so sort of.

Bonkers.

Yeah, I always, uh, confuse that one with the dark crystal for some stupid reason.

Because they were on HBO at the same time.

Those two. And like, never ending story. I’m like, wait.

Yep.

No never ending story has falcord the fuck dragon.

That’s just because. Yeah, they were early eighty s. Uh, HBO had them on replay. Oh.

Well, that’s not true.

Yeah, yes, they would be in danger. But the fact that she takes it as certain death is weird.

I just think that they’re doing that to kind of ramp it up because it’s like by the time you have the full story in eye of the world, you’re very aware that the problem is serious, but you don’t know what it is. And then there’s just like, they’re just like, we got to go. We’re running, we got to go, we’re running, we got to go, we’re running. And then they finally get to the blight or whatever, and then they start getting chased again, and then suddenly they’re at the eye of the world, and then it’s like, oh, fuck. Well, now what do we do? And nobody else really does shit except Rand. And then they’re like, where’d you go, Rand? He’s like, well, I don’t know.

I left. I’m a sheep herder. I don’t know what I’m doing.

I don’t know. I fell down a hill, hit my head on a rock.

Yeah.

Atta boy, Matt.

Uh, fuck. Where’d you come from? Whatever.

I can’t state enough how much I hate you.

Oh, is that curious, Leandrin?

What about your sisters and the man in North harbor?

Mhm.

Is that fear I smell? Leandrin? Because he’s not your boyfriend. He’s your fucking dark friend. Handler friend.

Let’s ride.

Moraine: I want to listen to this with a big subwoofer

God, the voice is, uh, so good.

I want to listen to this with a big. Oh, fuck. I want to listen to this with that cool fucking subwoofer I can put in my couch that is apparently being sponsored by this show.

Oh, is that what that was?

What the fuck was it? The love set.

Get us m some ads. I want one. Yeah, the love sack couches. Yeah, everybody get us sponsored by that. Those are the best couches.

Tell the love sack. I think if you can put it on any couch.

Probably. Probably just cut a hole in the bottom and put the speaker in there. It’s pretty easy.

Love sack, baby. Love sack. Love sack, baby. That’s where it’s at. Oh, did she.

This was kind of funny to me, too, because they’re just like, oh, the. Okay, cool. Like, y’all from the fucking country ass. Like, you should be at least a little bit more in awe. They’re just like, hey, what’s up?

Yeah.

Mind if we call you sue Ann? That’s cool.

I thought you were dead.

You weren’t just going to be dead. You’re going to be fucking trolloc snacks.

Yeah. Who’s that?

Did she just do the equivalent of a dude bragging about sex?

I think so.

That’s below you, Moraine. You’re better than that.

That’s, uh, been.

Not you. Her little fucking smirk. She’s fucking feeling strong today.

I guess she gets a little bit close to 90, just like, uh. Save me.

I don’t know. I don’t know what to do. What the fucking weird burlap sacked night gown is that shit that she’s wearing.

Doesn’T seem cold enough where they are for that garb.

It looks itchy.

I thought you’d hover.

It. Gwen’s little smile right here and then. She’s not talking about her. Look at her little smile. Look at her face. What am I funny? Like a fucking clown?

Oh, yeah, dude, let’s talk about that for a second.

They just.

Oh, okay.

She looked like she got slapped.

I’m sorry. Um, there’s actually.

This reminds me of an interaction. They’re on their way to the white tower. Nineveh and Egwene. And they’re on a ship, and a lot of isidai are there. Suan’s there. She takes over Nynaeve’s training for a day, and let’s just say they have a standoff. Yeah, it’s pretty awesome.

Rod: This is way longer than I thought

All right, I’m going to go to the bathroom before we motor into this finale. All right. Fuck my day.

Oh.

Uh.

You’re already, like, deep in it. You can’t not be a part of it unless you’re going to give up on the people that you care about. That’s stupid. Oh, no insults? No.

Ouch.

Yeah, it is. Yeah. Irrelevant.

Better learn.

You better learn fast.

This is way longer than I thought. I always remember they just kind of went into the room and it’s like, you’re off, ladies. I forget how much. The ammerlin seat really butters them up.

Yeah, by if butters them up, you mean hits them over the head of the hammer. Butter the wheel, doesn’t care what you want. Fucking grow up.

Yeah, you can walk there or be drugged there. You have a choice.

Do you want to play at life while the world dies around you, or do you want to do something about it? Because you could do something about it. You’re strong enough.

I go back to the rivers and fish. You could. Dang it.

I was going to be the wisdom.

Most powerful channel ever. Yeah. Oh, you’re talking about her.

Yeah, that’s the one. I know her face. She’s all got a little smug smile, and then she’s like, oh, wait, what?

M. Oh, that’s right. You are. Yeah. Banished yellow. Banished.

Kiss the rings. This is funny, because this is all just a bunch of pretense.

Yeah, well, leandrin loves it. On your knees. On your knees.

White ajaw. Boring.

Who is she?

She’s like the fucking vice president. Keeper of the chronicles.

Okay, so she’s got real power. I thought she might have just been a guard or something.

No, she’s like kind of second in command advisor. I don’t even.

Oh, uh, that’s right. Does this remove the oath?

No. This is the oath, Rod. This is what puts the oath on your bones.

But she already had the oath. This is like a double swear.

Yeah. She says you have to follow the orders of this seat. Like, this position of power.

She doesn’t say her name, but I.

Think Moraine says her name. Like, she’s like, I’m not going to obey any. Emil, run. Seat. But I’ll obey you. Oh, finger touching.

Uh.

I’m just paying really close attention to what they’re actually saying.

Yeah.

Because that’s what it’s about with Isodai.

I remember last time I watched this, thinking I saw something that rendered it.

I didn’t catch that finger touch.

Yeah.

Suan Sanche. Not a Maryland seat. She says her.

Yep. Yeah, there’s something going on here, that they’re skirting the rules somehow.

She’s just basically like, I’m committed to you, but you’re never going to see me again. Pretty much. They don’t expect to see each other again.

I can’t believe I never fucking noticed that ear before.

It’s so dope.

Yeah.

I think this is just. They’re the only ones. They’re literally the only probably two people in the world that really realize what the fuck’s going on right now. Like, this is it.

M. Considered: Heavy petting vs. light petting

This is 20 years of work, and we’re probably going to die at the end of it, but hopefully the world lives because of our work.

Yeah.

Simultaneous climax.

M. I love parallel play. Parallel play.

Is that heavy petting?

Is that.

What’s that?

Ah.

Considered. I never understood heavy petting. What’s light petting?

M. That’s a good question. Hey, fans out there, write in, tell us the difference.

Give examples. Specific examples.

Personal.

No, I’m just kidding.

No, let’s do it. Let’s get into it.

This is kind of silly, though, because it’s like no one noticed how intimate that was between you guys. Turn your backs.

Uh, that is so cold.

Take it.

That is such a. Wow. This is not symbolic enough.

If this wasn’t, like, a ruse, this would be pretty brutal.

Yeah, she’s like, you guys turn your back because I’m about to go save the world by.

And you know what? No one’s looking. Just give her a little wink on your way out. Everybody’s looking the other way.

Oh, she’s just watching.

Give her a little, uh, finger wave. Little, maybe.

Why is Leanne. That’s weird that.

Well, you thought she wasn’t going to come see her off.

Well, I’m just surprised she’s not in the room. She seems like, uh, some of those.

Yeah, Leandrin doesn’t turn away. Leandrin doesn’t turn away.

She just turns away late, just like she wants.

Very late.

Yeah. Um.

She wants to save her every.

Oh, uh.

Fucking call the ambulance. Get you some french fries. Get you some french fries. Joe dirt. Joe dirt.

Joe dirt. All right, let’s ride.

I swear I saw John Ralphiel back there, dude.

John Ralph. He should be, uh, that’s right. The first time I saw this, I was like, holy crap. She’s just taken off.

She’s making fucking tracks. Her horse is so beautiful.

Uh, where’s she going?

That is a gorgeous animal.

Where’s she going?

I grew up around horses, and I know horse, and that’s a fucking expensive horse right there, buddy. You could tell just by the way it canters and know.

Oh, yeah.

That horse is.

I love your mom.

Good bloodlines.

Your mom’s Instagram and Facebook is one of my favorite. She just always has such gorgeous pictures of animals and cute puppies. I know.

Uh, I wish they weren’t such a business to her, but I’m an animal guy.

Yeah.

But, yeah, she takes really good pictures. That’s got to be a strong ass horse to hold his big ass.

Yeah.

This is the last time we see Matt on the show

This is the last time we see Matt. Oh, my God.

Damn it.

Oh, my God.

I just want to get the second season on because, uh, I can’t believe there wasn’t a better way to do this. Matt’s like, m. I’m not going to go.

So my plane leaves tonight. Yeah. Should we get to filming or what?

Yeah. I got about 45 minutes. You want to shoot a couple of scenes? No. Okay.

I’m out. Reunited and it feels so good the.

Power rules everything around me. Prem.

Look at all the hugs.

Yay.

Oh, uh, happy times. Way to ruin it, Matt.

You fucked it all up.

Hey, if you haven’t seen this episode, sorry.

Matt doesn’t go with them or anywhere ever again.

I love that. I’ll see you later, friend. You guys go back to the tower.

Bye. Bye.

Go on. They know where to go. It’s fine.

Your mom wouldn’t survive the ways.

Hey, Matt, you know what? Also, smart money says you would have chose to not go with them before they ran your fucking horse off.

All right?

You already have been. Uh, okay. Long winded fucker.

Shut up. Totally. It’s quick. It’s quick.

Look, it’s faster than writing there, okay? So you need to know we can take Amtrak. Hey, this was like a whole scene where parent’s mouth, uh, is actually closed.

Don’t fuck it up, Perrin. Here, eat this peanut butter. We’re going to film.

Your theory is probably pretty good. Like, he’s got some weird accent that he’s trying to fix. We can’t make him talk that much this season. He’s got to work on it.

He’s got to work with his coach. Sweet.

Don’t we think that’s a little dramatic?

We don’t know. It’s a.

Like, the earth itself will burn. Matt’s looking around like, I’m a little cold. Actually, I’m a little chilly out here. Uh, if I’m being honest.

I’m going back to town, get some marshmallows. They’re going to die. They’re going to die.

At least that’s what I’ve been told. What’s she going to say?

Can you lie? Oh, nice try. Matt’s like, hmm, my moment has come. We out.

If m you look the pattern it makes, he’s like a three sided leaf. That’s the avendosaura leaf, the tree of life or whatever. Oh, yeah. And apparently it’s in the extras. But there is, uh, one of those items of power, a turangrial that is in the shape of that leaf. And if you have it, you can be a non channel or an open. Oh, pod and fane. Has one, and I’m feeling like he got it from Leondrin.

Oh, are those two fucking?

I don’t think they’re fucking. I just think they’re dark friends.

No, we already cut you from the next two episodes.

Yeah, no, you can’t come. You got to go.

You’ve already been reading.

You didn’t want to. Yeah, we already wrote your ass out and a new guy in, so fucking Cheerio. Take a piss. Eh?

Uh, yeah.

This is only the second time I’ve seen this episode

Too late to change my mind. Yeah, dude, you’re done.

You should.

What part of your fire do not get?

Enjoy being on how I met your mother or whatever the fuck you’re going.

To be doing the remake of the british threes company. Yeah, I know. You got to play Mr. Roper.

Great. Oh, uh, it’s two mats, a chick, and a pizza place.

Whatever it is, it’s dumb. It’s a bad career choice.

You could have just ridden this out for a couple more years, and then you could do whatever.

I don’t want to be known as Matt Cawthon for my whole career. How would you like to be known as the guy who was Matt Cawthon for one season and never did fucking nothing?

Who played, uh. Remember who played Meg in the first episode of Family Guy? No one does.

No one does. What a prick.

Sorry. I told the showrunner to go fuck himself.

Moraine’s like, story editors. Come on, staff writer. You guys are Logan Ablar young.

Sue Ann Sanchez. Holy shit. Well, sorry for all the silence out there, people. I think Justin did a great job of filling it up. I just exclaimed a lot. Most of this episode is me going, what? No. What?

Yeah, I know this episode. I missed a lot in this episode. I actually am looking forward to rewatching it with the wife because I, uh, caught a lot of stuff this episode that I did not catch. Subtle shit like the little message to Moraine in the bath and everything, like some good stuff.

Pot on Fane was probably in here, too, if we had our eyes peeled more. I bet as much as he showed up in the last episode, he had to have been peering around some fucking corner.

Dude, no shit. They were in the tower a lot, so maybe not, but I want to watch for that, too, because he showed up in that last episode a lot.

Well, this too. Like me, I kept thinking I was going to watch the whole season more than once, so I ended up watching the first two episodes probably, like, three or four times, thinking that I would get to this episode, and I never did. So this is only the second time I’ve seen this episode. So that was like, a lot to take in.

Motherfuckers.

I am not average, I am not ordinary? I am a masterpiece, you know I do it for me? I am not perfect, no, that’s imaginary? But I’m a masterpiece, you know I do it for me? And all my colors and paints all my lines and my shapes? Every move that I make? I am not basic, it’s self explanatory? I am a masterpiece, you know I do it for me? Just the way I like it. Yeah.

Hm. Mixed and edited by Desmond McNeese for we mixed it LlC, go to whatsounds awesome.com.